This evening I was pondering the ego and wondering why it is so difficult to release.
Why IS the ego so difficult to let go? I mean, it is the most ridiculous thing ever, to hold on to something that causes so much pain and hardship, that little devil inside all of us that makes us react to life circumstances so negatively. That micromanaging heckler, so attached to every single detail of our lives.
After asking myself why the ego is so hard to let go, the answer that came to me was this:
Because then the game would be over.
We want to keep playing this game of struggle and achieve. We need our problems in order to feel a sense of achievement. We need goals for the same reason. Why do we want to play this game? Why are we so afraid to let go of it? We are afraid to “win” at life for no reason, to simply be, and stay that way forever?
Because then what? We might become bored? Have nothing to do?
A good practice may be to say to ourselves that we really have no need for this game, that it truly is not necessary. We can remind ourselves that we can make a choice not to participate in the ego “games”.
I imagine it would go something like this:
Thought: I have no social life. This is terrible. It’s Saturday night and I have nothing to do, and everyone I know is out having fun. I miss out on all the fun! On top of that, I feel like nobody likes me.
Ego’s Game: Use the excuse of “have no fun or friends” in order to feel bad. It would be a GREAT achievement to attain these two things, wouldn’t it? But the goal is to make things really DIFFICULT because anything worth having doesn’t come easy, right? Isn’t this a fun CHALLENGE?
Detaching Thought: I don’t need this emotional “challenge” to make my life fulfilling. I choose not to participate in this game of feeling like I need to feel bad. I am not having fun. So what. I’m not surrounded by friends right now. So what. I choose right now to let go of the “goal” to be successful at having fun and having friends.
So this is a first draft of my initial thoughts about the concept of “ego game” and I’m hoping I fully captured the essence of those thoughts right now. Practicing this seems like it could be helpful in learning to let go of drama situations and I’m definitely going to try it out for a while.
Ever since I made a conscious decision to be enlightened, my discomfort in being held down by the ego is even more pronounced. I red flag every single thought that’s based on fear or anger, and I notice every time I have a knee jerk reaction to something that upsets me.
This is good though. It means I’m paying attention. And you can’t change what you don’t recognize. So I feel accomplished in these first steps I’m taking. Recognizing these games and calling the ego out on them will surely help.
I have so much experience with this ego game. I have often referred to my ego as a bully. I could never win at this game until I started recognizing it for what it was. So good for you. You are on your way.
Jill´s last blog ..Good times
For me, referring to my ego as a bully seems too strong. I like to think of it more as something that is confused and unaware, but in its own ignorance thinks that it is clever and knows everything. The way I see it, the ego doesn’t really intend to do any harm. It is actually trying to protect us, but that which it is trying to protect (our true self) is impermeable to harm in the first place.
I don’t think it is ever possible to remove the ego. The ego is a learning tool, for us to become more conscious of our inner or true Being. In releasing or letting go of its hold over us, there is no need for struggle. As you have shared, it is also a constant reminder that we choose not to participate in “ego games”.
Evelyn Lim´s last blog ..Creation, Intention, Consciousness
Hi Evelyn,
I definitely think it is possible to undo the ego. I see a lot of evidence out there in the form of books and spiritual teachings, especially in Buddhism and non-dualism. The book I just read, When Fear Falls Away, is about one woman’s experience in releasing her ego. In this book the author states that her transition into enlightenment would not have been possible without first believing that it could happen.
It is so difficult to let go of it because it does not exist.
So the more you try to lose it the more real it becomes.
Michael Sappler´s last blog ..Say Goodbye to Positivity
Yup. Makes sense. Pointing it out makes it more real.