My boyfriend and I of one year and six months broke up.
I think the hardest part is realizing that I’ll never be able to fall asleep with him any more. And I miss all the plans and trip ideas I wanted to make with him. Poor little ideas got killed off before they ever got a chance to grow. Damn.
I can’t say that I’m totally surprised, except with how the breakup transpired. And I really don’t want to go into detail about that.
My heart feels like a 10-pound rock lodged in my chest. At times it throbs as if hot with infection.
Some things about our relationship:
…I used the law of attraction to get him into my life. It took about a year of intense inner work and suddenly without warning he was there.
…He literally healed me in ways I could not have imagined. I am a different person, a better person, a happier person, because of him.
…I went to a psychic in March who said we would be breaking up in about 6 months, and this was before I told her anything about myself. (She also predicted the lawsuit he currently has with his ex-wife.)
…I always had the feeling that our relationship was not going to last forever, that there would be something more ahead for me after my time with him, but that he would help me grow so that I could get there. (That doesn’t mean I wanted things to end.)
…Ironically, before we officially broke up, I experienced the best two weeks of being in a relationship with him that I’d felt since we first started dating. It made me contemplate the thought of getting married. If nothing else, I’ll remember that time, how glorious it felt, and use it as a relationship visualization in the future. At least then I’ll know that that two-week experience wasn’t all for naught.
I am sorry to hear of your loss. It is a loss. It also seems that it was a gain for you. Those two weeks of happiness were a gift. As you said, you now will be able to truly visualize the relationship that you want to attract. The relationship that you truly deserve. Now is time for the icky feelings and the feeling like you are mourning. Embrace yourself and let those feelings come. You are a beautiful soul and you will find your beautiful soul in another. Namaste
Jill´s last blog ..Change is hard
Thanks Jill, I really appreciate the support.
It’s kind of funny that your last post is entitled Change Is Hard. Change definitely is hard but there is also a part of me that looks forward to seeing what more life has to offer.
Hello, I don’t really know how to explain what I felt after waking up and reading your post yesterday.. I usually get them at like 4am… maybe because i am in Canada.. I felt sad for you.. I felt joy for you..
I have to tell you…. you are probably one of the most inspiring people I have come across in a very long time… and just the sheer fact that you “thank” him for the Two weeks of bliss.. in my opinion I think you have started that journey and that you will be sharing with us the new quirky things that the next person who is blessed to meet you… Life is only going to offer you great things.. I feel it everytime I read your posts!!
Wow, what a great comment Jag. I can feel the heartfelt sincerity in what you’re saying and that means a lot to me. Thanks.
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