Dealing with Depression and Anxiety in 4 Steps

This is the basic formula I use to deal with any negative thoughts that make me depressed or anxious. It is the same basic formula that you’ll find in many self help books. I’ve often used these steps to find some relief while suffering from depression, loneliness, social anxiety disorder, anxiousness, or the like and I am definitely a happier person today from diligently practicing them.

1. See thoughts that make you feel bad as a brain malfunction.  It is not something wrong with you, but something wrong with your brain. This step separates you from the problem. NEVER believe that the problem is part of who you are because that’s a bunch of B.S. You are joy and peace at your core. Try to see the problem as a thing within you, a temporary state that has nothing to do with who you truly are, and see it as having the purpose of helping you to become a higher version of yourself.
2. Recognize which thoughts are making you feel bad. Do this each day. Pay attention to when you are feeling bad and then write it down. Figure out exactly what you are thinking that makes you feel bad.*
3. Figure out the contrasting positive thoughts that should substitute the negative thoughts.  In other words, replace negative thinking with something positive. Bonus: recognize the deeper meaning of your thoughts.

   For example.
   Negative Thought: “nobody likes me” (deeper meaing = I don’t love myself**).
   New Positive Thought: “I am loved” (deeper meaning = I love myself***)

4. Believe the new positive thoughts. This is the most important step, and perhaps the most difficult. During this step I convince myself to believe the new thought by using affirmations and visualizations, but you might find other methods that help. Try putting yourself in a pure state of being that thought by imagining in detail what it feels like to have that thought in full physical manifestation. For example, if I want to feel loved by others, I imagine what it feels like to be fully accepted and supported by everyone I know — this includes family, friends, co-workers, strangers…even perceived enemies! I envision harmonious relationships with all who I encounter, becoming so deep in the visualization that I feel great joy and peace as a result.

Let me also state that just because the steps seem simple, it doesn’t mean they are easy to do. It takes practice and determination to change negative thought patterns. It took me YEARS to get to the point I’m at now.

*Don’t be surprised if this causes you to challenge some core beliefs you have about life. Sometimes we figure out that something we believed to be “a fact of life” has been making us miserable for years. It’s OK to question and rearrange your beliefs about life once in a while. Try on new belief systems for size, just to see what it’s like to believe something different. For example, if you’ve always believed that rich people are greedy snobs who like to put poor people down, try thinking something more positive for a day, such as “rich people are just like everyone else and just want to love and be loved regardless of where other people are in the social and financial ladder”. See how it makes you feel.

**If you loved yourself, you wouldn’t go around thinking “nobody likes me”

***When you are in a state of truly loving yourself you only focus on being loved. And when you love yourself, you don’t give a hoot about the people that don’t love you back. You just don’t give a damn. Awesome, right?